2011, It was supposed to be a better year.....

So we said 'Goodbye' to 2010 and Hello to 2011...joyfully, we watched for the calendar date to roll over.  It was to be a better year.  It was going to be different. We were not going back.  I'm trying to hang on...

2011 has started off with a bang for me.  My internet was down for two days, and then I got Shingles.  The dreaded disease...painful disease.  I developed a lump.  I thought, hmmmm, a boil.  I watched and waited.  Disinfected, sanitized and washed again and then again, one more time, for good measure.  It progressed.  Another bump, then another...other symptoms - dizzy, nauseated, very sore and stiff in the joints upon waking, all over aches and pains like the worst case of the flu you have ever had in your life.  AAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!

I went to the doc.  She helped, gave antibiotics, prescribed a different means of handling the issue as she is a naturopath.  And the family, 'Why don't you go to a real doctor?'  Did I mention I really dislike conflict?  But I know they love me and are concerned.  It didn't help that this condition came up in an unusual spot that just sometimes happens that way.  Hoo Boy...So, I am finally starting to feel like - "Okay Honey, you don't have to call the undertaker yet..."  I can't say I'm back to 100%, but I can tell I am feeling better.  Well actually, I wake up not feeling like an elephant slept on top of me all night.   We're making progress. 

So back to looking at 2011, looking for a promise of restoration.  God is so good.  We (I) are/am so grateful.  He has been so good to us.  He has answered and given sources to us that are encouraging and have given us hope.  He has given us friends who are truly friends.  No contingencies, no strings attached.  You know what I mean.... As a parent, I feel I have a grip now on what is happening with our children and life is going to get better without it having to be WWIII.  God is still providing.  The bullies are not defeating us.  In fact, the intimidation tactics tend to bring a different response out in us today.  God continues to teach us. 

I am really, really trying to learn not to let stress and people intimidate me.  I can't change how they behave.  I can only work on myself.  I am still hoping for a better year. 

A Day in the Life of Multi-Chemical Sensitivity Person...

How many of us, when we are out, have to use the public restroom?  How many of us prefer that people wash their hands when they have had to use the restroom?  All of us, right!  Yes! Most emphatically.  To think otherwise, well, let's just not go there.....but for some of us even washing our hands creates a problem.  I have finally made a connection between using the soap at a public restroom and a scalding, burn rash thingie that happens to my hands. 

I was lamenting over my hands to my husband.  They were hurting, cracked and bleeding.  It literally feels like I have scalded my hands.  So I get asked the usual question, "what did you eat?"  Nothing...nothing that is that I haven't already been eating and seemingly had no reaction.  If you talk with people who have these kinds of health problems, you find out just how hard this can be.  That is figuring out what you might be reacting to or not.  You log and log, you track, you check the ingredient of every thing that passes your lips.  What really makes it hard is they lie about their ingredients.  I was so happy when I found out one of the things that causes a major pain in my life. 

I finally made a connection between the only thing different was I had gone out of the house, had to go to the restroom and being the 'clean' person I am, washed my hands after using the restoom.  Within an hour's time, I had this scalded feeling, very dry, cracking skin on my hands.  Okay, we might need to kill germs but this seems overkill or is it the chemicals?  I don't know, I'm not a degreed, smart person, but I have learned to carry my own soap with me and use it.  You should see the rolling eyeball looks I get; but scalded hands or rolling eyeball looks - which would you choose?  Oh yeah, this also happens when I use some brands of flour - it results in my hands drying out, cracking open, and basically, an alligator has smoother skin than I do. 

And if one person tells me, you just need a good moisturizer....I slather 100% pure almond oil on my hands after I wash them or shower or Extra Virgin Olive Oil.  This helps more than any lotions which most lotions have some chemical in it that starts the whole process over again. 

Truth, Flitting, Evasive, What is Truth?

The harder I search for truth, the more confusing it becomes.  I really don't get the attitude of 'we can't tell the truth, we must appear this way or that."  It is very frustrating for me.  I anguish over it at times.  I also am blatently honest.  I guess that is why is hurts so when I find one is being less than honest with me.  As Christians, I know we fail.  I know we make mistakes.  I know we all sin.  If we are honest, we will admit it.  More and more I find people who try to make things appear as they were one way and it's really not that way.  It really hurts and in every case it has been someone who claims to be a "Christian".  Hmmmm, their definition of the term liar and my definition must be two different things.  Their Bible must say something that my Bible doesn't say.  I really, really do not go around trying to be something different in real life than I am on the internet.  I really try to live how I would like to be treated.  You know, the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." 

My husband has told me repeatedly, people will lie to you.  I'm like, why would they?  I don't lie when I get on the internet.  But yet again, they lie.  They deceive, they cover it up and make it appear as one thing when it is really something else, and that to me, my dear friend, is a lie.  Why?  Why do people do this?  And why does it most often come from someone who has a Bible in one hand and are quite loud and vocal about how they are a Christian, and yet, hmmm, let's examine that behavior. 

I think I am learning to let it go.  I have a friend who says why waste your time on it.  Because relationships matter.  People matter.  It's wrong.  To raise up your children and try to set an example for them only to see someone hurt them, it makes me mad.  Forgiveness?  Yes, I am trying to forgive.  I have to daily give it over to the Lord.  It really, really bugs me.  Why does someone do this? 

To me, it appears we have liars on every side.  The guy at work lied, the AMA lied, the governement lied, etc., etc.  on and on it goes...Don't they know...haven't they heard.  Jesus Christ is Lord.  He is coming back.  He will judge on that day.  I know we are not supposed to judge.  I know we are supposed to love, forgive, and all of that stuff.  But, I wonder again if love and forgive really mean what they said or if it might be something else. 

My son and I had a wonderful talk the other day about choosing to do right no matter what.  No matter how hard, no matter how lonely, no matter... ?  Whatever it is, you will always come out ahead if you choose to do right.  Why is it so hard to take off the masks of pretence?  Having to always appear a certain way to others as opposed to the truth.  I don't see it as being negative.  I see it that someone needs something.  As Christians, our duty is to minister to our brothers and sisters in the Lord.  So, dear Christian, why not share your struggles on your blog? After reading of an acquiantence who is facing a particular health challenge and stating they would not be detailing the struggle on their blog.   Be real.  Let others see you are not so perfect, that your life is not so easy, that all of us struggle.  I'm not saying focus on the negative.  I'm saying isn't it kind of a lie to say life is wonderful and happy when it's not.  And what is so bad about being honest and real as opposed to 'you can't talk about it' and 'life is wonderful all the time.'  Hmmmm, kind of reminds me of a song I used to listen to as a child...

"Their coming to take me away, ha, ha,
their coming to take me away, ho ho, hee, hee, ha, ha"....

Ummmm yea, when we can't really share what is on our hearts.  When we can't be honest.  Seriously, what is wrong with removing the mask and letting the imperfections be seen?  The one you thought was weak might be really strong and the one you thought was really strong, you'll find out how weak a person can be....

Facing the Bully

I have really been in a strange mood lately.  I don't know whether it is the weather or the time of year.  I don't know if it is because I am so far from my family or the circumstances that have played out in my life that make me feel like I do.  However, I am happy to say, "The Bully has not won!"  God is great.  He is mighty.  He has been showing me that I do not have to be panicked and running around in fear.  It is really quite a liberating experience. 

When you see someone or some thing attacking someone or something you love or care for very deeply, it  can be very fearful.  My usual response would be to run around and ask everyone to pray for such and such.  This time, my Lord, Jesus Christ, told me "Be still and know I am Lord."  This is not normal for me.  I usually find any and everyone to pray.  I call and ask; I do not sit still and do nothing.  However, this time I was led to do absolutely nothing.  Don't talk to anyone, don't call, be still and know that I am Lord and I will take care of you.  It was scary.  I was like, "Lord, don't you want me to call my sisters in the Lord?"  No, nothing.  Just calm assurance that "I will lead you out of this storm as I have led you out of other storms." 

My husband and I both have had bullies in our lives.  It has taken us a long time to learn to stand up to the bully.  We are still  learning.  It is a very liberating experience.  I have never felt as I do now....While I know I can do nothing in and of myself or by myself, I do know that I can do anything with Jesus Christ even face a storm of life alone with only Him or face a bully.  No matter how much I may feel alone, I now know truly - I am not alone nor am I ever alone as He says in His word, "I will never leave you or forsake you." 

If you are facing bullies in your life, I have two books for you aside from the Bible,  "Confronting the Jezebel Spirit, How to Defeat the Spirit of Control and Manipulation" by Steve Sampson and "Boundaries, How to Say No and Take Control of Your Life" by Drs. Townsend and Clark.  The Lord has brought such emotional healing in my life by the advice offered in these two books.  No one is paying me to sell this or say this.  I am offering what I have learned for free.  God lifts and promotes.  He sets up and appoints rulers.  He is in control.  He takes care of His people. 

More on the Thyroid....

I truly believe God directs all of our steps.  The ways of a righteous man or woman's steps will be ordered by the Lord, He says so in His word. 

I find it very interesting that at various times in my life, God has answered my prayers and the circumstances are so specific that I know it was Him.  I was searching and reading, searching and reading, tired of all the researching and reading.  Circles upon circles of information; feeling like a black hole that was continually enlarging and I was being sucked down into the vortex of this black hole with no escape.  I was saying to my self, "Self, I don't like what I see."  I see this group (thyroid issue people) talking about splitting dosages and taking supplements and doing this and doing that - all to compensate for dosing their thyroid gland to try and avoid problems that come up with their medications and their medical condition, whether hypo or hyperthyroid.  I then am reading on the MSG board and see where people have done this or that...and then, I heard the Lord say to me, "B12."  I'm like, "what???" 

I finished round #2 of my thyroid medication two weeks and one day ago.  It was quite an interesting experience.  First off, I did have the 'return with a vengence syndrome' that the thyroid people said would happen.  Next, I didn't quite calulate right and had to drop my dosage down faster than what I would like due to not having enough medication to get through and when I called in for my refill....well, I miscalculated.  Due to family emergencies and trips out of town, having to ship in your medication from a completely different state than where you live; not to mention a state that is all the way across the United States from where you live and then running out of medication for one whole day before the package would get here, so I had to again drop the dose quickly to at least have some in my system......so after getting really upset with myself for doing something so stupid as that and just the general frustration and then reading and trying to understand what and how the thyroid people were having to track their dosage...I was just tired of it all.  During the second round I had another blood panel drawn.  The doc has been very helpful.  In fact, all of them have been very helpful, the thyroid board people, the MSG people but no one like the Lord. 

So, I was sitting at home still waiting for the results of the lab tests which were to show what was deficient along with the thyroid issues.  While waiting, I had been reading (see above)...But two very interesting points or connections that I made while waiting for my results were the facts:  1.  MSG is an endocrine disruptor.  2.  MSG can cause cascading effects.  Hmmm, thyroid - endocrine...hmmmmm  cascading effect - leaky gut symptoms.  So I am combing the MSG board for similar issues.  Then I go to the thyroid board and get thoroughly upset at the prospect of having to split doses and manage this and manage that....seriously, I don't know how these people do it all along with working, living and life.

So I sit here telling myself and by this time talking with the Lord, "Lord, I don't want to have to live this way."  I heard "B12".  Huh?  "B12" ..."okaaaayyyy"  Yea, it can't be that simple right?  That's what so neat about God, it was that simple.  The very same day...in fact, about 30 minutes later I received the lab results and guess what...Yep, the B12 level was low.  I had also happened across an article where people where receiving healing from supplementing B12.  We're talking about serious healings of multiple sclerosis and Parkinson's Disease....and some other heavy hitters along with thyroid disorders.  They also explained how it had to be a certain form of B12 as not everyone can convert the usual B12...again I figured I fit in to that group considering that I had already had issues with leaky gut type symptoms. 

So, I'm taking the B12 in the absorbable form, trying my best to stay away from MSG in any way, shape or form (dreading the Holidays for food issues), and generally overall, I'm doing much better.  I have a better, over-all feeling of well-being instead of the something seriously is wrong with me syndrome.  I am learning to trust in the Lord with my whole heart and lean not unto my own understanding in so many areas in my life.  I know that sounds like pat, little cliches, but truly, He is showing me that he has numbered the hairs on my head and he knows me and cares about all of my issues, not just some.  He has answered and is answering our prayers as a family.  I don't know why I have to be reminded of who He is and what He has done.  I know this.  He has never ever let us down or let us go without.  But once again, it is written and recorded.  God has answered my prayer. 

I know these are scary times we are living in...every day we read more and more that leads us to "look up for our redemption draweth nigh."  I really believe He is teaching us to stand and not to be fearful.  Why should we be fearful when the God who created all things and can do all things, knows all things, and overcame all things is telling us He loves us and care about us.  The only thing we really need to fear is Him.

My Most Valueble Piece of Jewelry....

I walked in to my bedroom this morning and was thinking about an upcoming trip and the need to pack.  Did I want to take any of my jewelry?  What would I leave behind? 

I have quite a few trinkets, baubles, and other pieces of jewelry; nothing of any real worth, but like everyone else valuable to me due to the memories attached.  After twenty-one years of marriage and the mother of two teenagers it dawned on me what I would answer to someone if they asked to see my most valuable piece.  Would you like to see it? 

It is not sparkly.  It doesn't quite catch the eyes of jewelry connosieurs.  But, it will catch a mother's heart.  Here is it....my most valueable piece of jewelry. 

I have wasted so many years wishing for other things when I really should have been valuing what is right before my very eyes.  I pray you learn from my mistakes.  When you hear people saying treasure what is right before you, please do so...you never know how much longer you might have that person or thing in your life.  

My daughter made this crochet'd necklace for me when she was eight or nine years old.  I really can't remember it has been so long ago.  But, I realized that my little girl is no longer a little girl.  I can't go back and get over my pride to wear something my daughter made especially for me.  I will tell you now though, it is my most valuable piece of jewelry in my collection.  I also realize that I did not always have a mother's heart.  I learned well the ways of the world that would steal a wife from home and her family.  I did not value my husband or family as I should.  May God forgive me and may my family forgive me.  As time passes, my children are almost grown and I will be returning to the world of work.  I hope that I will remember the lessons learned and hope that other mothers will be able to have the opportunity that I have had by being blessed to be a stay-at-home mother. 

Allergies, Food Intolerances or Thyroid??? That is the Question....

Well, I have just ended round #1 of the liothyronine (natural T3, T4) medication.  I can tell it too.  My symptoms came back full force, raging,  before I was even off the medication but at a very low dose.  It really is not very fun.  For instance, today:  My usual day runs -  Up at 4:00 a.m.,  cook breakfast and pack a lunch for hubby; have my quiet time, breakfast, wait for the children (now one child) to get up and start our home schooling day.   Priorities are set. Whatever needs to be done in the way of housework gets done and so on and so forth goes our day.  I have been doing this for ten years...Before that, it was get up at 3:00 a.m., go to work, hubby wakes up; I stop work, fix his breakfast, get him out the door, get child number one up, fix her breakfast and out the door to school, go back to work and wait for child two to wake up.  Child two wakes up and then I stop work for the day so I can spend time with him...That was my life for ten years before the last eleven years which is how many years I have been home schooling. 

Why is this topic under  "He's Married to a Multi-Sensitivity Chemical Allergic Type Person"... you ask...Well.  I wanted you to know I don't and never did just sit around at home doing nothing.  So many times in my life I have heard, you need to get up and be more active.  Come to find out, there is a reason I am always so tired, always in so much pain, always why the back is hurting and I have muscle aches and pains that never go away so  much so that if I do something major say like gardening, it takes me two or three days to get over that one day of gardening.  I have what is known as Wilson's Thyroid Syndrome.  I run a low body temperature and because of it, it affects my thyroid gland. 

Within the last, I don't know, four or five years, maybe even six or seven...I have had escalating symptoms.  I had a leg rash that would not go away.  I became allergic to my allergies...hay fever symptoms multiplied...asthma flaring all the time, chronic fatigue, muscle aches and pains, a back that was out more than it was in, headaches,... just a miserable person.  Well, I finally went to the naturopath because all the medical doctors just kept wanting to give me Prednisone but could never give me an answer for what "it" was.  I'm a person who does not like to take medicine if I can help it especially medicine that has really bad side effects.  So I was tested for food intolerances and yes, I have some.  I changed my diet.  It helped.  But then I started getting more scary symptoms....

This morning, for example, I had to have a nap at 9:30 a.m.  ??? A Nap???  Seriously, that early in the day....So then I have this weird feeling going along with it.  My head feels all numb, kind of a half asleep feeling you know pins and needles...and my tongue feels like it is drawing up to the roof of my mouth....The funny thing was that I was doing this before I started the thyroid medication and after starting the medication all these symptoms went away.  The flashy lights in my peripheral vision, this weird feeling and the passing out because when I get this way, I'm going out whether I chose to or not.  If I sit in a chair, I'll just fall asleep.  Ask me how I know...And it is not like a fall asleep/wake up feeling.  It is a 'your out and down for the count' feeling.  I know because my children have awakened me and although I was awake, I had to struggle to 'wake up'.  So it is either one of two things....the sour cream I ate at breakfast or the thyroid issue....Yes, there are things in certain foods that knock me out such as I described.   So I have a new brand of sour cream and I need to figure out if it was the sour cream or the medicine.  Although the symptoms kind of all went away while I was at a higher dose of medication.  But maybe it was a fluke and it is the sour cream....see how dodgy life gets with a multi-sensitive chemical disorder person.  You can go here and read how certain food chemicals have affected others....MSG-Myth    And just try to find a doctor who understands this....I have yet to find someone on my insurance plan...the naturopath is another who does but no coverage on my insurance for them. 

Anyhow, I'm waiting to start round #2 of my medication which I will be doing in the next day or so...They hope they can jump-start my thyroid gland  to working properly.  But it appears that all of the above symptoms mentioned, the many more that are listed with thyroid issues and many more that I have that I didn't list, all go away when I am on the medication.  My husband even commented on the Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde personna that I seem to have developed which makes me sad.  I certainly didn't mean for my family to have to suffer and then to be told for so many years, "It's all in your head."  Yeah, riiggghtt, Doc...!  Thanks a lot....

Anyhow, not to focus on negatives, I am just trying to state that I have been through quite a bit and I can tell the good days from the bad.  I know what it feels like now to feel good and I want that all the time.  I'm tired of feeling bad.  I have had many, many years of feeling bad.  My children have had to deal with 'sick mom' all their life.  My husband has had to deal with 'sick wife' all of our 21 years of marriage.  I am a little bit mad that these things were stolen from me.  I thank the Lord, He is restoring my health to me by allowing me to find these things that are working.