Double-Mindedness

Well, as you can see, I took a break. I truly have been trying to think my way through some of these issues that have been rambling around in my head. I cannot help but think of that Bible verse which speaks of a double-minded man is unstable in all of his ways. All because I have two teenagers and I wish better for them in their lives than what was in my life. I did not want them to make mistakes I had made, doubts I had, crippled, hindered by what others might think, etc., etc. I, like all parents, am realizing that my children have to make their own mistakes and answer for them. I do believe that I can help direct them and let them see the wisdom in really thinking about so-called planned event before acting. In other words, THINK, because for every action there is an equal Re-action. Convincing them that this is so is entirely a different matter. Above it all I have tried to let them know that God loves them, their father loves them, and I love them; and if they make a mistake, God will not stop loving them, their father will not stop loving them, and I will not stop loving them. But, this does not release them from their responsibility of owning their actions.

My daughter says now she sees where she was depressed. Her music was affecting her, her friends were affecting her, outside influences were affecting her. As Christians, we really do have to be aware of what we are nurturing our mind, soul, emotions on because it really does matter. I can watch a certain movie and it never fails, I will become depressed. As much as I enjoy that movie, I choose to never watch it because I do not want to be depressed.

I also have been struggling with things I believe to be right and yet having to respect others, who are Christian or people who are not Christian, who have a different opinion. At what point is it right to say, I am sorry I can't allow that influence into my life or my family's life or to be accepting realizing that God will work things out. At what point is it assumption on our behalf to say God will work it out or God plainly says that in His word you are to do such and such, and then people began to yell, "You're judging!" I am trying to hear more and more that calm, quiet voice that says "Follow me, not the world and not other people. Yes, I love them too but they are not you and I want you to do this." And all the rest are doing this. Hoo Boy! What's a Christian to do?

I have reached another season of realizing that what I was doing was right for my family, but the most gratifying moment came when my child realized exactly where we got off track for our family. I was very proud of my child at that moment and thought to myself, "My goodness, You are growing up. Where has time gone?" One thing I find with this blogging effort is that I can better see how writing my thoughts down help me see my own flaws, my own hypocrisies, and how exactly God will hold us accountable for our words, deeds, actions and thoughts. I pray for mercy because I know without a doubt, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! I am guilty, I am guilty, I am most guilty!