Double-Mindedness

Well, as you can see, I took a break. I truly have been trying to think my way through some of these issues that have been rambling around in my head. I cannot help but think of that Bible verse which speaks of a double-minded man is unstable in all of his ways. All because I have two teenagers and I wish better for them in their lives than what was in my life. I did not want them to make mistakes I had made, doubts I had, crippled, hindered by what others might think, etc., etc. I, like all parents, am realizing that my children have to make their own mistakes and answer for them. I do believe that I can help direct them and let them see the wisdom in really thinking about so-called planned event before acting. In other words, THINK, because for every action there is an equal Re-action. Convincing them that this is so is entirely a different matter. Above it all I have tried to let them know that God loves them, their father loves them, and I love them; and if they make a mistake, God will not stop loving them, their father will not stop loving them, and I will not stop loving them. But, this does not release them from their responsibility of owning their actions.

My daughter says now she sees where she was depressed. Her music was affecting her, her friends were affecting her, outside influences were affecting her. As Christians, we really do have to be aware of what we are nurturing our mind, soul, emotions on because it really does matter. I can watch a certain movie and it never fails, I will become depressed. As much as I enjoy that movie, I choose to never watch it because I do not want to be depressed.

I also have been struggling with things I believe to be right and yet having to respect others, who are Christian or people who are not Christian, who have a different opinion. At what point is it right to say, I am sorry I can't allow that influence into my life or my family's life or to be accepting realizing that God will work things out. At what point is it assumption on our behalf to say God will work it out or God plainly says that in His word you are to do such and such, and then people began to yell, "You're judging!" I am trying to hear more and more that calm, quiet voice that says "Follow me, not the world and not other people. Yes, I love them too but they are not you and I want you to do this." And all the rest are doing this. Hoo Boy! What's a Christian to do?

I have reached another season of realizing that what I was doing was right for my family, but the most gratifying moment came when my child realized exactly where we got off track for our family. I was very proud of my child at that moment and thought to myself, "My goodness, You are growing up. Where has time gone?" One thing I find with this blogging effort is that I can better see how writing my thoughts down help me see my own flaws, my own hypocrisies, and how exactly God will hold us accountable for our words, deeds, actions and thoughts. I pray for mercy because I know without a doubt, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! I am guilty, I am guilty, I am most guilty!

More Rambling Thoughts

I am finding that I am more hesitant to blog my thoughts. After I posted my Entitlement Behavior entry, it has bothered me. So much so that I am rethinking this blogging effort. I thought I would enjoy this, but I find I am bothered as I do believe that words have power whether written or spoken. So equally, I have a responsibility to try and explain in a manner which will not confuse or mislead someone, or make someone feel judged or less than who they were created to be. And yet, I find this a very difficult task. I have thoughts and feelings too.

As I was debating this dialogue over in my mind, I felt I heard the Lord say, " The flesh must die." Lately, I have been hearing and reading where we are entitled..., (Oh boy!, There's that word again!) entitled to what? We really and truly all deserve to go to, yep, you know where...Is this a new movement? The Entitlement Age. What is this fine walk where you must not be legalistic and yet, not live in the flesh. I truly find it disturbing, the extremes to which both sides have taken this issue. It seems all have learned the fine art of manipulation and control. A spirit of Jezebel which seems to consume mankind, Christianity included. Yet while trying to watch these issues, I find myself falling into the same behavior. As that so familiar phrase goes, "Except for the grace of God, there go I."

Lord, please help me to find the words that you would have me write. The thoughts and issues that you would bring to light and not my own. I desire to be dead to myself and alive to your will and wishes. Help me to die to myself, my feelings, and I thank you that you know what I need and answer my prayers accordingly. In your most Holy name I ask these things. Amen.