Destined For Greatness, part two...

Oh right, that's supposed to be God's place....

I had an epiphany or at least, it's my idea of an epiphany.  I had been contemplating my life.  Reflecting on my relationship with the Lord.  I have been so angry with him.  Lot of stuff, not really his fault but stuff I felt he should be helping me with and I wasn't feeling the love.  You know how that goes....

Anyhow, I was looking to the past and reflecting while working on another writing project.  I realized in an instance I had not grown.  I was thinking on the story of Lot and his wife.  How Lot's wife had looked back and they were warned not to look back.  The consequence of her action was to be turned into a pillar of salt.  I was looking back.  While not turning into a pillar of salt, looking back still had consequences that were not necessarily producing good results, especially to be growing in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

In that instance I realized I had not grown for two years.  I thought surely I have grown Lord.  I have come through this ________, and this ________, and ....Thinking these were all major things to have come through, surely I have grown.  The Lord showed me a small flower that just barely had sprouted through the ground.  I thought to myself, "Self, I haven't grown at all!  I have a lot more growing to do."  In some ways it was disappointing.  I am by no means 'young in the Lord', but I might as well have been.  Then I felt the Lord telling me that by focusing on the past, the hurts, the regrets, the what might have beens, etc.; all of that was hindering the growth of this flower that he so wanted to grow, nourish and have bloom into a beautiful flower.  I had not been turned into a pillar of salt, but I might as well have been. 

By focusing on the past, all of the issues were causing a hindrence, stifling, bondage, doubt; all were things that caused a slowing down or complete stopping of growing in the Lord.  So I am purposing in my heart to move on.  Looking to the future.  I can't change the past, but I can actively pursue the future with faith.  Faith that the Lord hasn't forgotten me.  He is still leading me.  He is the author and the finisher of our faith, my faith.   

Destined For Greatness!

Have you ever felt or yearned for something, just knew that somehow, some way you were supposed to do this thing, whatever that yearning may be...and totally in the wrong place, wrong time - things never come together right.  That is how I feel in my life right now.  If only...

If only I had more money.  If only my house were bigger.  If only...Lord, how can you use me if these things are never in my life.  And it is not really discontent.  It is more of others would be uncomfortable stacked like sardines in my little house.  Others would really not be ministered too.  It seems to be an endless battle.  It is frustrating.  I have to admit I am frustrated by these things, small as they might be. 

I have been around people who have the ability to do these things and they do not have the skills.  They have the money, but they don't have the time.  They have the house big enough to stack quite a few sardines, but not the other connections.  It really is frustrating to me.  God, why did you put me here if only to leave me just sitting here unable to do this thing? 

The Hypocrisy Never Ceases to Amaze Me!

After my rant the other day, I received an email from a certain blog writer or writers.  It went something along the lines of  'words are terrible things'.  They were right.  Words can have an impact that sometimes we are not aware of the damage we might have caused by speaking carelessly.  However, that is not an excuse to not address issues of un-Christ-like behavior.  I am well aware that my blog comes across as antagonistic.  But let me tell YOU, Christian, that for every five Christians I meet, I come across the one Believer who wants nothing more to do with Christians.  It seems God has placed my husband and I in the care of these who have joined the ranks of outcasts because they want nothing more to do with wearing masks, playing the game and acting as if life is all happy and grand.  So we do our best to lead them back to Jesus Christ and share with them His message of peace, mercy and grace, and not the laws and spiritual death of religion. 

Again, when are we going to take off the masks and get real.  I would love to have fellowship with believers who can take the heat.  But the moment I began to mention some things, they disappear. 

But really I am getting off the point of why I came to blog today.  I really do not remember signing up for the newsletter of that particular blog of writers.  But they had an interesting post, so instead of marking it as spam, I have read some of the posts.  So I went back today, because I had posted a comment thanking them for the encouragement.  Their article was a good reminder of the damage words can cause.  What did I find?  I find that my comment was deleted.  Okay, that's their right...it's their blog.  But again, I find it somewhat hypocritical.  What's a matter?  You afraid the black sheep of the family might get black fleece on your white fleece?  I don't believe God is going to allow segregation in heaven. 

So I'll stay in my own little corner of the universe with my Bible and the TRUTH I read from it and not play games by being all nice.  If I have to walk alone until Jesus takes me home, I'll do it,  because HE is worth it.  You can have your nicities, masks and all the games Christians play because they are not worth it. 

As you know, I blog when I'm frustrated....sm

I'm more than frustrated right now...I'm downright angry. 

I know we are supposed to 'take captive those thoughts'...but seriously, how do you keep taking captive those thoughts when they keep slapping you in the face.  I, for most of my life, have laid down and taken it when a bully was bullying.  It really did not get me anywhere.  Now, I am trying to deal with it by:  1)  Either confronting the bully and hoping to help them see where behavior is wrong, and yes, I check myself to see whether I am overreacting...or 2)  Get downright mad and VENT!  Much like I am doing right now....

I happened to have something happen recently and it was so unexpected from the person it came from which really hurts when that happens.  I wonder, just how they justify the behavior especially as "We are Christians."  I am seriously considering joining the camp that says "I am a believer, but don't put me in the group that wants to call themselves Christian because I don't want to be anything like them."  Do you know what I mean?  To make it worse, and granted this person had no idea, nor do they ever bother to check what is going on in my life.  But we had just had another very wonderful family event happen, NOT!!! - that caused more pain and trauma so for them to do what they did caused even more pain and with two recent deaths in the family, well.....more pain and trauma.  Okay, Lord Jesus, when is enough, enough? 

I mean, it's not just happening to me, it is happening to my children too which, you know as a parent, makes you really vunerable to rip someone's head off.  Mess with my child one more time.... ya know what I mean?  So here I am trying to walk in grace and mercy and really I 'feel' like pulling out the bazooka and saying, "Come on, Baby, make my day!"  AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!

And still here I sit,   wondering,   pondering,   and now understanding even more why Jesus was sitting  with the heathen as opposed to sitting with the religious leaders of his day.  I wonder when, just when His people will take the masks off, quit playing the games and get down and dirty with people like me to try and help each other, to do His will which is love one another. 

Living Next Door to the Dingleberries, Part Three...

I am sure you are asking yourself, "There can't be more to this story, can there?"  Well yes, there is.  Trying to love your neighbor as yourself is a hard mandate especially when my neighbor is doing things to me that I wouldn't dream of doing to them.  So first was the dogs, second the noise...and now, more noise. 

As I mentioned, my son was having a hard time, a very hard time getting a decent night's sleep due to the disturbances of the Dingleberries.  The next thing we noticed was - They appeared to stay up most of the night.  The children, I kid you not, would be outside playing at 10:00 p.m.  Noise carries easily on the nightwind.  Whoever might be outside would shout and yell at the top of their voice.  There are many times we can hear very clearly what they are fighting about to one another.  Hoo boy...

I had to leave due to a family emergency.  While I am gone, my son tells me they have now set a tent up and have a TV playing upwards to 1:00 a.m.  My poor son...I wish so desperately I could move him away from here and away from such people.  I keep telling him prayer works.  Keep praying.  There must be some reason.  I get back home and sure enough.  There's a tent.  Every day, a woman totes a cooler and set it right outside.  You can hear the TV playing.  Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, whatever game or show she is watching.  I just shake my head and tell my son, "If you have to come sleep on the couch in the living room, that would be better than just lying here getting no sleep." 

My husband tells me, "I met the neighbor again."  They supposedly have some arrangement about the dogs and he is to call if the dogs are over here.  No name or number though...so he is at work and, of course, the usual happens.  The dogs are here.  One, a big German Shepherd, is standing right outside my sliding glass door.  I open the door and yell, "Go home."  The dog just turns and looks at me.  No fear, after looking at me for a few minutes, it turns and goes home. 

My friend, who is very good at dealing with 'difficult' people, tells me this is a typical response of a dog abused or one that is used to being yelled at all the time.  Well, they supposedly rescuing 'pit bulls'.  I think with the behavior they have been showing, they are the last people who should be rescuing pit bulls.  Anyhow, the way she described the reactions matched perfectly with the reaction that the dog gave.  "What?  What'd I do wrong now?  Your yelling at me too?  Geez, can't a dog just go do whatever without getting yelled at?"  So I'm not yelling at the dogs anymore.  Poor dogs.  They have to live with them.  I only have to live by them.

Now, they have an RV, a pretty nice one too, backed up to our property line...It appears they are either having company or some family member is staying there in a nice, older RV, while the TV plays, the dogs roam, and they sleep all day and play all night.  It really doesn't appear that either of them work. 

After the dog being right outside my door, I called the cops.  I wanted to know if I had any recourse with no leash laws, no noise ordinances...They did tell me that if the dogs came at us in any threatening way, we could defend ourselves.  Once again, an animal having to be put down because of a stupid human.  Nothing they could do about the noise.  Geeze, whatever happened to manners, common decency, respect, being neighborly, oh yeah, it's all relative.  Morality doesn't count anymore. 

In the meantime, I keep reading my Bible.  I keep praying for my neighbor who surely seems to be my enemy.  Love, love I am learning to redefine in my vocabulary what 'to love' actually means.  I think our definition of love is very different from God's definition of love.  Every day I ask the Lord to help me love 'The Dingleberries'.  Hmmm, maybe I need to re-evaluate that one.  You know how they say, "never pray for patience.."Maybe I need to quit asking God how to love the Dingleberries.  :0 

Anyhow, as I have said before, I blog when I am frustrated.  Well, I am frustrated.  I try to mind my own business, keep my nose out of my neighbor's business, and generally let live and likewise, they do the same.  Well, I think I have met the one exception.  And, at what point, is it acceptable to tell them, "no more."  You've crossed a boundary.  Even Jesus confronted the pharisees.  Can I say too it really upset me to have to call the cops on my neighbor.  I mean, my mother had just died.  My emotions were still pretty raw, and then this.  I was balling my eyes out and I'm not one to ball my eyes out even over the fact that I have just dealt with losing my mother. 

I have to say the policeman was wonderful.  He was very understanding especially of the fact that usually I am the one dealing with this mess because my husband is out working a job.  I have to say, the neighbors have been quieter since I called the police.  The dogs have only been over here about twice a week as opposed to every day.  The tent was moved so the noise is not so readily floating on the wind to come floating into our house.  Hmmmm, maybe I should have loved my neighbor sooner.  Sometimes, love is hard and corrective, not soft and fluffy. 

Living Next Door to the Dingleberries, Part Two...

One morning, my teenage son comes out and looks pretty rough for the wear...I asked him what the matter was and why so tired looking.  He replies, "The neighbors kept me up."  ???  Okay, so they only do not control their animals.  They act like animals themselves with no regard to the neighbors.  If you are a parent, you know teenagers can be moody anyway.  Add no sleep to it and it can quickly become like dealing with a grizzly bear.  Or at least, it seems that way to me. 

My son considers himself blessed if he gets any amount of sleep at all.  Seriously folks, I kid you not.  We are too poor to just go out and sign for some huge, astronomical mortgage on a house that would take us away from here.  We dream of the day we can move out of the neighborhood.  Oh yeah, there are no noise ordinances in effect where we live, so basically, yeah you got it...they can do whatever.  Should I also mention they rent and we actually are making payments to own the property where we are living.  The joys of home-ownership.

What makes them Dingleberries?  We noted soon after they moved in this weird noise.  It sounded like someone working on a car.  You know, when they crank up the car and 'rev' the engine.  We noticed it went on all day long, all night long.  We then noticed this car ripping around right on the property line.  I was actually amazed they didn't hit a tree.  The property is quite dense for trees.  Especially if it was raining, we noticed this car racing all around.  My first thought was the guy was a mechanic and working on cars, and geez, I wouldn't want him working on my car.  Then, I thought maybe a disabled child that found joy and they let him express his anger/frustration by racing a junkard around the yard.  I don't know and after the dog episodes, well, I've always been the kind of neighbor - you tend to your business and I will tend to  mine.  I just knew this noise was loud and surely, they would be... be decent and respect that other people have to get up early and work jobs, and so on and so forth.  Nah, why did I expect that?  They didn't have respect enough to respect trepassing laws.  Why would they care if you needed your sleep in order to be well-rested for your job?  That is what makes them Dingleberries. 

This is where I don't really get what the Bible says to do....how do you love this type of person?  Really, how does "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" come into play here? 

Living Next Door to the Dingleberries....Part One

I have to give credit to the name, Dingleberries, to my husband. 

Do you live next door to the Dingleberries?  We do.  I am also learning that to love someone can be very hard work.  The Bible tells us to love our neighbor as ourself.  Our neighbors are very trying.  It all started with the dogs and, pretty much, the relationship has gone to the dogs. 

We were around and about and one of the children calls out,  "Mom, Dogs!!!"  I proceed to pull the curtain back and peer out.  Sure enough, there was a dog.  I open the door and yell "GO HOME!"  The dog turns and looks at me.  Typically, in the past, when I have yelled at a dog, they tuck their tail and run.  This dog just stood there looking at me.  It is a veerrrry eery feeling to have an animal just turn and stare you down.  It usually is not a good thing and for a dog to do this states they are not scared of you.  They know it and you know it.  But back to the story, finally the dog saunters off on his own accord.  Make note to self, talk to hubby.

Next evening, my son goes out to the mailbox to get the mail.  Son comes back in and says, "Mom, there was a dog out there.  He came running up to me barking."  I asked what he did in response.  He said, "I just stood there.  Looked for a stick to pick up, found one, and then they called the dog home."  Okay, so they were out there and knew their dog was doing this...?  Should I mention this dog looks like it has a little pit bull in it?  Trust me, I am not one to degrade pitbulls.  I think they have a purposeful use if trained and treated right.  But when one has access to these dogs and they do not train and treat them right.  It's not the dog, IT'S THE OWNER.  Enough said. 

So again, back to the story, Hubby had asked son to walk the property and pick up trash where it blows in from other neighbors or people throw it out.  Son is out walking and again, dog comes running from their yard on to our property.  Can I also mention that it is usually two dogs or more?  So now, we can't even walk on that side of our property without it causing mayhem.  Next incident, we are eating dinner and we see this guy walking right behind our house.  Hubby jumps up to go out and see what is up.  I mean....he is right up less than 12 feet from the sliding glass doors on our house.  My son runs out behind his father.  We see two others running around the side, through the flower beds, on my strawberry plants, my little herb garden area, etc., etc.  Now hubby is getting kind of ticked.  He usually just kind of acts like no big deal.  But this behavior,  along with some other things, is starting to get irritating. 

The next major event, I am in the shower.  I get out of the shower, go into the bedroom to get dressed, and realize there is someone standing right outside my bedroom window.  I yell out, "Honey, there's someone standing right outside our window!!!"  He goes running outside to once again confront the neighbor who is chasing his dog.  Again, their stomping all over the flower beds.  The guy's daughter is standing outside our bedroom window.  The guy tries to skirt around the corner of the shop, and his daughter and son are running in different directions.  Should I mention that twice now, my husband goes out - calls to the dog and the dog comes right to him. 

The guy proceeds to speak very loudly to my husband, "Why are trying to sneak up on me?"  My husband asks him, "What are you doing on my property?"  The guy starts ranting about how long his wife has lived in this community and that gives him the right to walk anywhere he wants to including our property.  Ummmm, no, that does not give you the right to walk all over someone's private property...but we never did convince him of that point. 

Needless to say, at various points and times, there are dogs roaming on our property.  We cannot walk outside at any time without some dog barking at us, and we do not walk on that side of our property at all.  They have their dogs chained - sometimes, but the chain reaches about 20 feet inside of our property line.  I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little sick of the entitlement behavior attitude and I really do not know how the Lord meant for us to love people who are acting this way. 

Reprisal, 2011 Was Supposed To Be A Better Year...

Sorry, but for me, 2011 has gone down the tubes.  I really didn't think life could get much worse.  I have been trying to NOT  focus on negatives and instead, retrain myself to think on positive things.  So the postive thing here, my mother is not suffering anymore.  She was a believer, so I know she is with Jesus.  However, I miss her greatly.  Also, if she just has to go, can't I have one more chance to ask her why she did what she did and just what did she mean by that... No, I know.  I do not get to ask those questions until my time on earth is done. 

So while I'm getting on with life, I have to say all in all, 2011, is going to go down in my history books as the worst wine ever year.  Good thing I'm not a wine maker or I'd burn all the barrels.  :0

Ever Have One of Those AHA Moments? Part Two...

I fell for the enemy's lie once again.  "You can't hear from God.  You're not good enough.  You don't ever get things right...what makes you think God would talk to you."  On and on, the accusations and lies go and once again, I believed his word over God's word.  I repent.  Lord, please help me to not do that anymore. 

I want to say, due to circumstances in my life, I and my husband, have been programmed to more or less automatically discount our thoughts.  It has been a long and hard battle to learn not to do this.  I really saw this today when friends, leaders, from my past, who I consider to be very strong in the Lord, are just beginning to learn things my husband and I have been learning for about fifteen years now.  Wow!  What an eye-opener.  God does know what he is doing.  He doesn't leave us groping around blind and in the dark.  It was our perception that put us there, not events, circumstances, people, or life.  It was only by our own perception of these things, circumstances, events, or people.  Wow! 

To see that God is starting to teach them, who used to be our teachers, the same thing he has been showing us for quite some time now....Wow, it still is totally an AHA moment. 

Please watch this video by Chuck Missler of Koinonia House Ministries in Post Falls, ID.  It gives a lot of information and some possible plans you might want to consider. 

Where Do We Go From Here?

If you are not familiar with five-fold ministry churches, please watch the videos by Pastors Wayne and Mattie Friedt, Believer's Fellowship Church Inc.,  to grow in the Lord. 

Believer's Fellowship

Ever Have One of Those AHA Moments??? Part one

Today, I had one of those moments.  AHA! One of those moments that makes you wonder why did you ever doubt yourself or God.  Do you know what I mean? 

satan is the father of all lies.  I am so mad right now.  Once again, I was tricked by the master deceiver.  He is so good at getting us to doubt ourselves or God and then we find out, he lied.  Why did I believe a liar over truth?  I know truth.  Why do I do this?  ARRRGGGHHH!!!!!

So that brings me to my blogpost today.   I usually post when I am upset despite my advice to myself not to, because when I am upset, I ramble.  Sorry.  I don't mean to ramble. 

This is what I feel...I don't know if I am 'hearing' from God but this is what I see and hear....Trouble is coming and it's coming fast.  If you're  not ready, you are going to be overwhelmed by it.  Don't lose faith.  Hold on to God, it's gonna get bumpy.  Do not look at the bumps in your life, look to Jesus.  I see now what the Lord has been doing in mine and my husband's lives.  I see what God has been doing in my childrens' lives, why we have gone through some of the hard things we have gone through....God is looking for those who see the storm and do not run.  They stand and the wind blows through their hair.  They hear the tornado sirens going off and they do not flinch.  They stand tall.  They take hold of those who are faltering and say, "This is the way."  They do not care what others think.  They know what they hear God saying and they do not sway from it.  Lord, help me to be so strong, bold and as unflinching in my life. 

Get ready.  The Lord is sending judgement to America.  Read your Bible, see what it says.  Don't take what man says the Bible says.  Let me clue you in on something.  If God is having to use me to warn you, you are in serious trouble....

2011, It was supposed to be a better year.....

So we said 'Goodbye' to 2010 and Hello to 2011...joyfully, we watched for the calendar date to roll over.  It was to be a better year.  It was going to be different. We were not going back.  I'm trying to hang on...

2011 has started off with a bang for me.  My internet was down for two days, and then I got Shingles.  The dreaded disease...painful disease.  I developed a lump.  I thought, hmmmm, a boil.  I watched and waited.  Disinfected, sanitized and washed again and then again, one more time, for good measure.  It progressed.  Another bump, then another...other symptoms - dizzy, nauseated, very sore and stiff in the joints upon waking, all over aches and pains like the worst case of the flu you have ever had in your life.  AAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!

I went to the doc.  She helped, gave antibiotics, prescribed a different means of handling the issue as she is a naturopath.  And the family, 'Why don't you go to a real doctor?'  Did I mention I really dislike conflict?  But I know they love me and are concerned.  It didn't help that this condition came up in an unusual spot that just sometimes happens that way.  Hoo Boy...So, I am finally starting to feel like - "Okay Honey, you don't have to call the undertaker yet..."  I can't say I'm back to 100%, but I can tell I am feeling better.  Well actually, I wake up not feeling like an elephant slept on top of me all night.   We're making progress. 

So back to looking at 2011, looking for a promise of restoration.  God is so good.  We (I) are/am so grateful.  He has been so good to us.  He has answered and given sources to us that are encouraging and have given us hope.  He has given us friends who are truly friends.  No contingencies, no strings attached.  You know what I mean.... As a parent, I feel I have a grip now on what is happening with our children and life is going to get better without it having to be WWIII.  God is still providing.  The bullies are not defeating us.  In fact, the intimidation tactics tend to bring a different response out in us today.  God continues to teach us. 

I am really, really trying to learn not to let stress and people intimidate me.  I can't change how they behave.  I can only work on myself.  I am still hoping for a better year. 

A Day in the Life of Multi-Chemical Sensitivity Person...

How many of us, when we are out, have to use the public restroom?  How many of us prefer that people wash their hands when they have had to use the restroom?  All of us, right!  Yes! Most emphatically.  To think otherwise, well, let's just not go there.....but for some of us even washing our hands creates a problem.  I have finally made a connection between using the soap at a public restroom and a scalding, burn rash thingie that happens to my hands. 

I was lamenting over my hands to my husband.  They were hurting, cracked and bleeding.  It literally feels like I have scalded my hands.  So I get asked the usual question, "what did you eat?"  Nothing...nothing that is that I haven't already been eating and seemingly had no reaction.  If you talk with people who have these kinds of health problems, you find out just how hard this can be.  That is figuring out what you might be reacting to or not.  You log and log, you track, you check the ingredient of every thing that passes your lips.  What really makes it hard is they lie about their ingredients.  I was so happy when I found out one of the things that causes a major pain in my life. 

I finally made a connection between the only thing different was I had gone out of the house, had to go to the restroom and being the 'clean' person I am, washed my hands after using the restoom.  Within an hour's time, I had this scalded feeling, very dry, cracking skin on my hands.  Okay, we might need to kill germs but this seems overkill or is it the chemicals?  I don't know, I'm not a degreed, smart person, but I have learned to carry my own soap with me and use it.  You should see the rolling eyeball looks I get; but scalded hands or rolling eyeball looks - which would you choose?  Oh yeah, this also happens when I use some brands of flour - it results in my hands drying out, cracking open, and basically, an alligator has smoother skin than I do. 

And if one person tells me, you just need a good moisturizer....I slather 100% pure almond oil on my hands after I wash them or shower or Extra Virgin Olive Oil.  This helps more than any lotions which most lotions have some chemical in it that starts the whole process over again. 

Truth, Flitting, Evasive, What is Truth?

The harder I search for truth, the more confusing it becomes.  I really don't get the attitude of 'we can't tell the truth, we must appear this way or that."  It is very frustrating for me.  I anguish over it at times.  I also am blatently honest.  I guess that is why is hurts so when I find one is being less than honest with me.  As Christians, I know we fail.  I know we make mistakes.  I know we all sin.  If we are honest, we will admit it.  More and more I find people who try to make things appear as they were one way and it's really not that way.  It really hurts and in every case it has been someone who claims to be a "Christian".  Hmmmm, their definition of the term liar and my definition must be two different things.  Their Bible must say something that my Bible doesn't say.  I really, really do not go around trying to be something different in real life than I am on the internet.  I really try to live how I would like to be treated.  You know, the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." 

My husband has told me repeatedly, people will lie to you.  I'm like, why would they?  I don't lie when I get on the internet.  But yet again, they lie.  They deceive, they cover it up and make it appear as one thing when it is really something else, and that to me, my dear friend, is a lie.  Why?  Why do people do this?  And why does it most often come from someone who has a Bible in one hand and are quite loud and vocal about how they are a Christian, and yet, hmmm, let's examine that behavior. 

I think I am learning to let it go.  I have a friend who says why waste your time on it.  Because relationships matter.  People matter.  It's wrong.  To raise up your children and try to set an example for them only to see someone hurt them, it makes me mad.  Forgiveness?  Yes, I am trying to forgive.  I have to daily give it over to the Lord.  It really, really bugs me.  Why does someone do this? 

To me, it appears we have liars on every side.  The guy at work lied, the AMA lied, the governement lied, etc., etc.  on and on it goes...Don't they know...haven't they heard.  Jesus Christ is Lord.  He is coming back.  He will judge on that day.  I know we are not supposed to judge.  I know we are supposed to love, forgive, and all of that stuff.  But, I wonder again if love and forgive really mean what they said or if it might be something else. 

My son and I had a wonderful talk the other day about choosing to do right no matter what.  No matter how hard, no matter how lonely, no matter... ?  Whatever it is, you will always come out ahead if you choose to do right.  Why is it so hard to take off the masks of pretence?  Having to always appear a certain way to others as opposed to the truth.  I don't see it as being negative.  I see it that someone needs something.  As Christians, our duty is to minister to our brothers and sisters in the Lord.  So, dear Christian, why not share your struggles on your blog? After reading of an acquiantence who is facing a particular health challenge and stating they would not be detailing the struggle on their blog.   Be real.  Let others see you are not so perfect, that your life is not so easy, that all of us struggle.  I'm not saying focus on the negative.  I'm saying isn't it kind of a lie to say life is wonderful and happy when it's not.  And what is so bad about being honest and real as opposed to 'you can't talk about it' and 'life is wonderful all the time.'  Hmmmm, kind of reminds me of a song I used to listen to as a child...

"Their coming to take me away, ha, ha,
their coming to take me away, ho ho, hee, hee, ha, ha"....

Ummmm yea, when we can't really share what is on our hearts.  When we can't be honest.  Seriously, what is wrong with removing the mask and letting the imperfections be seen?  The one you thought was weak might be really strong and the one you thought was really strong, you'll find out how weak a person can be....